Funny Picture of a Kid With a Seal
A penguin took his car to the mechanic.
The penguin left to get some ice cream and returned a few minutes later.
"It looks like you blew a seal" said the mechanic.
"Gross, its just ice cream" replied the penguin.
So a seal walks into a pub...
And bellies up to the bar. The bartender looks him up and down, and asks,
"What can I get for you?" The seal looks up at the bartender with his big, brown, sealy eyes and says,
"Anything but a Canadian Club."
Why did a seal go to the bar? ....
Because he didn't want to go clubbing.
Animal Crackers
Please do not eat if the seal is broken.
A seal walks into a bar
A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?"
The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."
A penguin talks his snowmobile in to get fixed.
The mechanic takes a look at it and says "looks like you blew a seal." penguin replies "no, that's just frosting on my lip."
Ice cream
A penguin was having car trouble and decided to take it in to the shop. When the mechanic told him it would be a while he decided to walk around and do some shopping. After a bit he stopped off for an ice cream cone. Finally, he heads back to the auto shop. "Looks like you blew a seal." says the mechanic. "no" replied the penguin, "it's just a little ice cream."
I bought a box of animal crackers yesterday...
I was about to open it and the box read "Do not eat if seal is broken".
Well I opened it up and sure enough...
A penguin is having car trouble...
A penguin is having car trouble, so he stops by a mechanic's shop for some repairs. He tells him he will need about an hour to find out what's wrong. The penguin walks downtown and it's a hot day, so he stops to get some ice cream. He doesn't have any arms to eat the ice cream with, so he just sticks his beak right into it. The penguin returns to the shop and the mechanic says "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies "Nah man, it's just ice cream."
What do a walrus and a ziploc bag have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Why did the Walrus go to the Tupperware store?
Because he wanted a tight seal.
You can explore seal flipper reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean seal electron dad jokes. There are also seal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What was the Walrus doing in the Tupperware store?
Looking for the tight seal
What do you call a dumb seal?
An imbeseal
Why did the boy look at each and every one of the animal crackers?
Because his mother told him not to eat them if the "seal" was broken.
Credits to my school principal
A penguin was driving along...
A penguin was driving along when he smelled something burning. He took his car to a mechanic to get it checked out. The mechanic said "It'll be about an hour" so the penguin went walking around town. He stopped at an ice cream parlor and ordered a cone. The penguin tried eating the ice cream, but made a mess because of his flippers. He went back to the mechanic who had just got under his car. The mechanic rolled out from underneath and said "looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replied "no, it's ice cream".
A baby seal walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "What will you have?"
The seals says, "Anything but a Canadian Club."
So a penguin is driving along one day...
... and has engine trouble. So he stops at an autoshop and they get to work on his car. It's a rather hot day, so he walks over to the convenience story and buys an ice cream cone.
As he's finishing the cone, the mechanic walks over to him and says "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No no!" he cries, "It's just ice cream!"
Why did The Walrus go to a Tupperware party?
He wanted to find a tight seal.
A penguin takes his car to the mechanic....
The mechanic tells him it'll take about an hour to fix. The penguin heads over to the 7-11 across the street to kill some time and have an ice cream. But because he has clumsy little flippers he gets the ice cream all over his beak.
When he goes back to the mechanic, the mechanic tells him, "well, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "no, that's just a bit of ice cream."
A baby seal walks into a bar...
... and says,"I'll have anything but a Canadian Club."
A penguin is driving....
down the street when his car starts sputtering. He pulls into the next mechanics shop and asks him to take a look. mechanic says it will be about an hour. While waiting the penguin decides to go next door to the malt shop and get an ice cream cone. an hour later the penguin goes back to the mechanic.
the mechanic looks at him and says "looks like you blew a seal".
"oh no I just had some ice cream" said the penguin wiping his face.
Girl, if your beauty was represented in stocks, I'd invest everything...
Because you're at an all-time low.
(Use it to seal the deal on Valentine's Day)
How do you turn a seal into a sea lion?
Remove an electron.
Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?
Because he was looking for a tight seal. ;)
Seal loses electron
Did you hear about the seal that lost an electron?
It's now a seal ion.
n Eskimo was out for a drive
An Eskimo is out for a drive one day when his car breaks down and is forced to call a mechanic. Finally the mechanic arrives and he sets to work, looking under the bonnet until he locates the problem. He looks up at the Eskimo and says, "You've blown a seal, mate" to which the Eskimo hastily replies, "No I haven't! That's just frost on my moustache."
A penguin's car broke down in the middle of the city.
So he got his car towed to a mechanic's shop and walked to an ice-cream shop to grab a large cone.
After about 20 minutes, he walked back to the mechanic's shop and asked if he knew what the problem was.
"It looks like you blew a seal," said the mechanic.
"No, no, I swear to god it's just ice-cream."
It's important to distinguish between a seal and a sealion.
A sealion is just like a seal, but it's either gained or lost electrons.
How do you make a Sea Lion?
You remove an electron from a Seal!
How does Voldemort seal his mail?
With his Parceltongue. (...I'll see myself out)
A penguin brings his car into the shop
The mechanic says he needs an hour to check it out, so the penguin walks to 7-11 and buys an ice cream to kill the time. Since the poor guy's got no hands, he gets the ice cream all over his beak. When he's done he walks back into the shop, and the mechanic tells him "Well, it looks like you blew a seal." Penguin says "No, that's just a little ice cream"
A penguin takes his car to the shop for maintenance.
He goes across the street to a ice cream stand for a vinilla cone. Later he goes back to the shop to check on his car. Mechanic says "looks like you blew a seal". Penguin goes "No, it's just ice cream".
An Inuit man walks into a pet store...
An Inuit man walks into a pet store holding a dead, bloodied seal, he screams at the owner "SOMEONE HAS CLUBBED MY SEAL, I DEMAND A REFUND!" The owner looks at him and says, "Sorry, warranty void if seal is broken."
Seals
A penguin is driving along in his car when it breaks down. Fortunately, there's a mechanic nearby and the car can be repaired.
While the car is in the garage, the penguin decides to waddle to the town to get a vanilla ice-cream. He eats it but forgets to wipe his mouth.
When he returns to the garage, the mechanic says "I think you blew a seal". The penguin replies "Nope, that's just ice-cream!"
Why did the dolphin go to the Tupperwear store?
It was looking for a tight seal
How is a walrus like Tupperware?
They're both looking for a tight seal.
Sometimes I feel like a seal is just a neutral sea lion
Neutral
As in
Without an ion
A penguin's car breaks down
He brings it to his mechanic and the mechanic tells him it will take a while to diagnose the issue. It's a hot day out and so the penguin decides to go across the street to have an ice cream cone while he waits. He then returns to the mechanic's shop and his mechanic says "well, it looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replies "oh no, this is just ice cream"
Mother and son in Grocery store.
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
"What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained.
"I'm looking for the seal." - collected
Another penguin joke. nsfw
A penguin takes his car in to a mechanic, and the mechanic tells him it will be an hour until he is ready. So the penguin decides to get an ice cream cone.
Penguins don't have opposable thumbs let alone fingers so he ends up with ice cream all over himself.
Later, he returns to the mechanic who says"I found the problem. It looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, I just ate some ice cream."
A Baby Seal Walks Into a Bar,
Goes up to the bar and the barkeep asks, 'What would you like?'
Baby Seal says, 'Anything but a Canadian Club on the Rocks.'
A harp seal walks into a bar
Takes a seat at the bar. The bartender asks "what would you like?" The harp seal replies, "anything but a Canadian club."
What did the seal with the broken arm say to the shark.
Do not consume if seal is broken
A man is arrested for killing a condor
A man is arrested for killing an endangered condor. Before the judge, the man says, "Your honor, I only killed the condor to feed my hungry family."
The judge says, "Well, I can't charge a man for feeding his family. And I'm curious so I'll let you off with a warning if you answer one question. What did it taste like?"
The man says, Somewhere between a bald eagle and a baby seal."
Why do seals swim in salt water?
Because if they swam in pepper water they'd do nothing but sneeze all day
Why did the vet turn away the injured sea animal?
Do not accept if seal is broken.
Penguin.
A penguin goes to get his car fixed at the mechanics on a hot day. Mechanic tells penguin it will be a while, so the penguin goes to the shop across the road and get some yummy vanilla icecream. The penguin returns to the mechanic and the mechanic says "looks like you've blown a seal.". the penguin replies "no it's only icecream."
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp
A penguin is driving down the highway when he starts having engine problems.
He pulls into a local mechanic's and the mechanic says, Give me an hour and I'll let you know the problem. The penguin walks out and see an ice cream shop and goes in for a vanilla cone.
An hour later, he walks back to the mechanic's. The mechanic see him coming and meets him at the counter and says, It looks like you've blown a seal.
The penguin wipes his mouth and says, No, no, that's just ice cream.
Why can't seals be famous DJs?
Because they're scared of club hits
A penguin sent his car to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...
He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.
Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.
Penguin: Ah no that's just ice cream.
What do a Walrus a Tupperware have in common?
They're both looking for a tight seal
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
A penguin is driving his car when it starts making noise . . .
He takes it to the auto shop, the mechanic says it'll take about an hour. So he goes to the ice cream shop across the street. Penguins love ice cream. He comes back and the mechanic says, "it looks like you blew a seal." Penguin says, "No, its just ice cream."
Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties?
They're always looking for a tight seal.
Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?
He was looking for a tight seal.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken...
What's the difference between a seal and a sealion?
An electron or two
One from my granddad many years ago. "Why do seals have flat dicks?"
[Do an impression of a seal while clapping your hands near your groin]
What do a tupperware collector and an eskimo have in common?
They both like a tight seal
The CDC is now recommending wearing TWO masks as a way to get a better seal around your nose and mouth.
It's also a good statistical approach to get the average American to wear ONE mask. (Sorry, that was a mean joke.)
An Asian doctor, SEAL, and astronaut walks into a bar
His name is Jonny Kim. Please don't let my mother know about him.
A Penguin walked into a mechanic
Said, "there is an issue with my car." Mechanic said, "give me an hour I'll check it out, why don't you go across the street and get something to eat?"
The penguin walked across the street and ordered a large ice cream. Because of having no hands he just used his flippers. After about an hour the penguin walked back to the mechanic with the ice cream still all over his flippers and beak.
The mechanic said, "it looks like you blew a seal." Penguin said, "No no no! It's just ice cream."
What do you call a seal that has lost an electron?
A sealion
A baby seal walks into a bar.
Bar keep asks, "what do you want?"
The baby seal replies, "anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks."
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it
While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
A seal walks into a bar...
The bartender asks, What would you like?
"Anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks."
What's the difference between a mega church pastor and a crazed marine carrying a butt plug covered in superglue?
One wants to heal your soul for money.
The other wants to seal your hole for Gunny.
What did the shark say to the sexy seal?
Damn, you're a snack
What's chocolate's preferred pronouns?
Her/she
I got an eye roll from the wife on this one. I guess that's the dad joke seal of approval.
A seal asked the bartender for a drink...
He gave him a Canadian Club - on the rocks.
Source: https://jokojokes.com/seal-jokes.html
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